Photo By: Eileen Gregory Selby
THE SEASON OF SUFFERING
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4).
If suffering could be compared to a season, it would certainly be winter.
Winter is dark, cold and isolating. As the days grow shorter and the nights grow longer, flowers die, creatures hide, and the world recedes into a canvas of gloom and gray. Winter--the longest of the four seasons--has a way of triggering depression as it wears out its welcome and stretches the limits of human patience.
If suffering is like winter, then it’s no wonder we disdain it so deeply. Suffering is an uncomfortable “activity under heaven”—one that provokes cross emotions and behaviors while rubbing up against our godly strivings for hope, joy and peace.
But the sorrow of suffering has an appointed time and purpose in each life under heaven. God does not want us to deny our pain, nor to escape it—rather He calls us to embrace what He has paradoxically designed. Like winter, our suffering has a subtle beauty that can only be appreciated within the framework of faith.
PERMISSION TO SUFFER
One of the greatest acts of kindness we can extend toward someone in crisis is to grant them the permission to suffer. We don’t always need to cheer people up, or to suggest explanations for their troubles, or to put a positive spin on every circumstance. Sometimes when people are suffering, what they need most is validation—someone to simply acknowledge that their crisis is, indeed, sad. As Romans 12:15 says: “Rejoice with those who rejoice—and to weep with those who weep.”
I think some people try to brush off sadness because they fear it is a weakness of faith. But sadness is not an unrighteous emotion, and a number of scriptures display this truth. One in particular is Psalm 88. Please take a moment to click on this link and read over this unique passage in the Bible.
Did you notice what was so unusual about this Psalm? Unlike most of the others, this one both begins and ends in despair. The author of the Psalm is a man named Heman, which is Jewish for “faithful.” Look at the words he used to describe his feelings: afflicted, rejected by God, close to death, the object of God’s wrath, cut off. Yet, Heman’s psalm reveals an ember of faith as he casts his sorrows upon “the God who saves me.” (vs. 1).
If you are in a season of suffering, no one but the Lord knows how long it will last. But God does not expect you to pretend. He does not condemn you for your feelings. Jesus is a compassionate high priest—a “man of sorrows, acquainted with grief.” (Isaiah 53:3). God is able to use the uncomfortable emotion of sorrow to conform us to image of Christ, for within the experience of sorrow is the opportunity to develop compassion.
Prayer: Dear Lord, You have created the seasons of our lives—each with a specific purpose and designated time. Even winter, in Your hands, reveals a subtle beauty. Thank you for allowing me to feel what I feel without the fear of Your rejection. Help me to grieve my crisis for the appropriate length of time, and to know when I should look for the spring. Meanwhile, send me a companion who will mourn with my mourning and allow me to be real. Amen.
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4).
If suffering could be compared to a season, it would certainly be winter.
Winter is dark, cold and isolating. As the days grow shorter and the nights grow longer, flowers die, creatures hide, and the world recedes into a canvas of gloom and gray. Winter--the longest of the four seasons--has a way of triggering depression as it wears out its welcome and stretches the limits of human patience.
If suffering is like winter, then it’s no wonder we disdain it so deeply. Suffering is an uncomfortable “activity under heaven”—one that provokes cross emotions and behaviors while rubbing up against our godly strivings for hope, joy and peace.
But the sorrow of suffering has an appointed time and purpose in each life under heaven. God does not want us to deny our pain, nor to escape it—rather He calls us to embrace what He has paradoxically designed. Like winter, our suffering has a subtle beauty that can only be appreciated within the framework of faith.
PERMISSION TO SUFFER
One of the greatest acts of kindness we can extend toward someone in crisis is to grant them the permission to suffer. We don’t always need to cheer people up, or to suggest explanations for their troubles, or to put a positive spin on every circumstance. Sometimes when people are suffering, what they need most is validation—someone to simply acknowledge that their crisis is, indeed, sad. As Romans 12:15 says: “Rejoice with those who rejoice—and to weep with those who weep.”
I think some people try to brush off sadness because they fear it is a weakness of faith. But sadness is not an unrighteous emotion, and a number of scriptures display this truth. One in particular is Psalm 88. Please take a moment to click on this link and read over this unique passage in the Bible.
Did you notice what was so unusual about this Psalm? Unlike most of the others, this one both begins and ends in despair. The author of the Psalm is a man named Heman, which is Jewish for “faithful.” Look at the words he used to describe his feelings: afflicted, rejected by God, close to death, the object of God’s wrath, cut off. Yet, Heman’s psalm reveals an ember of faith as he casts his sorrows upon “the God who saves me.” (vs. 1).
If you are in a season of suffering, no one but the Lord knows how long it will last. But God does not expect you to pretend. He does not condemn you for your feelings. Jesus is a compassionate high priest—a “man of sorrows, acquainted with grief.” (Isaiah 53:3). God is able to use the uncomfortable emotion of sorrow to conform us to image of Christ, for within the experience of sorrow is the opportunity to develop compassion.
Prayer: Dear Lord, You have created the seasons of our lives—each with a specific purpose and designated time. Even winter, in Your hands, reveals a subtle beauty. Thank you for allowing me to feel what I feel without the fear of Your rejection. Help me to grieve my crisis for the appropriate length of time, and to know when I should look for the spring. Meanwhile, send me a companion who will mourn with my mourning and allow me to be real. Amen.
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