SUFFERING AND PRAYER

Friendship With God

“Life without a friend is death without a witness.” --Eugene Benge

Who is your best friend? How would you describe the qualities of a good, deep and lasting friendship?

I have been blessed throughout my life with some really wonderful friends—friends in whom I have been able to confide my deepest and sometimes darkest thoughts—and yet they have stood by me and always will.

In the most difficult times of my life, these dearest friends are the ones whom I run to with my problems because I know that they understand me. More times than not, they don’t have the solutions to my problems . . . but that’s not why I go to them. I go because I need them to listen, to care, to help carry my heavy load in this world, if even for just a few minutes. And I know they will pray for me.

When a friend allows us to reveal who we really are, without fear of rejection or condemnation, then they validate our worth. In essence, their listening says, “you matter.” We all need to know that we matter, especially when we are suffering and undergoing difficult times. Knowing that we matter gives us the strength to push forward, even when we don’t know where the road is leading.

It took me a long time to realize that God is not only my Father, but my friend. During the darkest days of my medical afflictions, months of unresolved problems drained every ounce of energy or determination to go on, and I spent hours on my knees before God beseeching Him to heal me, to deliver me, to tell me what I needed to do or to say differently so that He would respond. Without realizing it, I had compounded my own suffering by believing that God wanted me to change something in my life, something in myself, before granting my petition. I turned myself inside out looking for that one elusive black mark to eradicate and nearly drove myself crazy in the process.

Then one day, while on my knees, I was getting ready to offer up my same old requests to the Lord—"God, please heal me." "God please deliver me." "God, please show me why this is happening to me."

I was so tired. Finally, I just said, “Lord, I’m just too weary to confess, to ask, or to pray. I just need to talk—to tell you how I feel.”

Suddenly I heard that still small voice say, "Are you seeking the blessings, or are you seeking the Blesser?

Stunned, I slowly proceeded to freely unload . . . to share with God as I would with my best friend. I didn’t ask for anything; I didn’t try to please. I simply let my words gush forth from the deep well of a broken heart.

When I was done, I felt more refreshed, more relieved than I had in months. And I was struck with a new realization: That was exactly what God had wanted me to do . . . to simply enjoy the Blesser.

From that day forward, my perspective toward prayer changed. I finally understood that in spending so much time asking God for things, I was missing out on the deeper reason that God had created me as His child. I am not implying that we should not ask God for things. In fact, we are told by God, Himself, to do just that.

But prayer is much more than asking. It is more than praising. Prayer in its simplicity is to commune with the Living God and to discover the joy of His fellowship as we relate to Him, even as a friend.

“No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.” (John 15:15).

SUFFERING-IS IT WASTED TIME?

Are you going through a trial that has brought your life to a screeching halt?

That's what happened to me when I began to experience some perplexing medical problems that the doctors could not resolve. Over the months, as my symptoms increased they began to create more and more restrictions on my life, making it impossible, at times, to participate in some of life's basic functions: working, sleeping, socializing with friends, going to church.

For months I prayed and waited for God to bring healing . . . to lead me to that one doctor who would have the wisdom to treat my problem so that I could resume living a "normal" life, but that prayer remained unanswered. As a result, I've had to deal with feelings of uselessness and deep frustration over the inability to live the life I thought I was supposed to live.

Forced inactivity led to a mental/spiritual tug-of-war with God's promise in Romans 8:28 that states: "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." How could anything good come from being sick all the time?

Then one day, while reading the book of Exodus and how the Israelites suffered for centuries under the oppressive bondage of slavery in Egypt, I came across a verse that struck a cord in my heart: "But the more they afflicted them, the more they multiplied and grew." (Exodus 1:12).

The more the enemy afflicted God's children, the more God made them increase in number!

As I meditated on this verse for awhile, I became amazed how used His children's time of affliction to fulfill His promise of building a kingdom of people whom even the gates of hell could not prevail against.

Likewise, King David, a beloved servant of God and renowned leader of Israel, spent 14 years hiding in wilderness caves from Saul who wanted to kill him. God had appointed David to kingship in his youth, but more than a decade of seeming inactivity preceded David's actual assent to the throne—a decade of frustration and suffering. Was it wasted time?

Were it not for those years on the run, we wouldn't have some of the most anointed and prophetic words in Scripture today—the Psalms, written by King David durinig his years of affliction.

Dr. James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, wrote a book entitled, "When God Doesn't Make Sense" in which he states, "Most of us in Western nations are motivated to use every second of our existence for some gainful purpose. But the Lord sometimes permits our years to be 'squandered' or so it would seem . . . ."

Is it possible that in certain instances what God wants to accomplish through our lives can only come to fruition within the context of isolation?

Prayer: Dear Lord, I don't know why You have brought my life to a halt, or why You allow this prolonged suffering to keep me from serving You in the ways that I long to do. But You are the God who makes something out of nothing—You multiplied five loaves and two fish to feed 5000 and I know You can use this time in my life to multiply Your purposes. Thank you that no time is squandered in Your hands. Amen.

SUFFERING AND GOD'S FAITHFULNESS

Spiritual Sickness

Just as physical sickness can zap our strength and dim our vitality, sometimes the circumstances of life can tax our spiritual strength and deplete our reservoir of faith.

One potential threat to our spiritual health is our perspective toward prolonged suffering. Life is replete with circumstances that create long-term pain: the diagnosis of an incurable condition or disease; the loss of a loved one; an unfulfilled goal or heart’s desire; unemployment; betrayal; catastrophe.

When suffering persists we naturally ask the question, “What have I done wrong to deserve this? Is God trying to teach me a lesson?” When clear answers fail to emerge, the tendency may be to dig deeper which can lead to erosive doubts: “Does God really love me? Have I pressed Him too far?"

Once “spiritual sickness” takes hold, it has the potential to spread like a cancer, afflicting us with relentless anxieties that shake the core of our faith. The enemy will whisper into our heads: “You’re going to lose your salvation. You don’t have what it takes to hold on to God. If you were really a Christian you wouldn’t even be thinking like this.” Before we realize what’s happened, we find ourselves caught in a web of fear and spiritually paralyzed.

Unhealthy Doctrine, Unhealthy Faith

Part of what causes us to succumb to spiritual sickness is the lack of knowledge or the lack of trust in the basic doctrines of the Bible—particularly the assurance of our salvation. God has chosen us from the foundation of the world and has covenanted to keep us to the end. Prolonged suffering always presents the temptation to doubt this truth.

For the longest time I saw the amount of my suffering as a measuring rod of God's love for me. The more I suffered, the more sinful I must be. The more I suffered, the more God was displeased with me. So when I started undergoing a series of medical problems, and God did not grant the physical healing I had prayed for, I interpreted that as God’s rejection and I became plagued with the fear that I was not saved.

The Road to Spiritual Health

My afflictions brought me to a new place where I had to re-evaluate my deepest beliefs. It all boiled down to one question: Did Christ really die for all my sins—past, present, and future—or didn’t He? Which was it? If the former was true, then I had fallen for a lie.

I finally saw that in setting impossible standards of spirituality for myself, standards I could never attain, I had inadvertently consigned myself to a prison of fear. But God’s word says: “Perfect love drives out fear.” (I John 4:18). Obviously something was wrong with my thinking. If my sin had the power to undo what God had done (regeneration), then my sin had more power than God—and I knew that WAS NOT true.

I finally learned that I could no longer allow my circumstances to define truth. In doing so, I had lost sight of the foundation of the Christian faith: “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.” (Romans 8:1).

I like the way Philip Graham Ryken is quoted in the book Assured by Faith by Burk Parsons: “If our salvation depended on us, then we would be about as faithful as the stock market.”

The Faithfulness of God

I found a number of verses confirming the faithfulness of God and began to read them out loud, incorporating them into prayers on a regular basis. In time, the power of God’s living word, the sword, forced the enemy of my mind to retreat.

One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned so far is that even when we cannot hold on to God, He holds on to us. We do not make it to the end because we have great faith, but we make it to the end because of His great faithfulness! This is the assurance that we have in Jesus Christ. "My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father’s hand. (John 10:29).

"If we are faithless, He remains faithful; He cannot deny Himself. (2 Timothy 2:13).

For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me. This is the will of the Father who sent Me, that of all He has given Me I should lose nothing, but should raise it up at the last day. (John 6:38-39).

For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:37-39).

GOD AND SUFFERING

Discovering Faith

I thought I would deviate from my normal postings about Bible passages and lessons learned about the Lord and inject some personal thoughts. This is not easy for me, as I’ve been told I tend to be a “private” person. And I’ve often wrestled with just how personal to get on this blog. But here goes:

Tonight I am feeling whimsical and somewhat nostalgic. So I thought I’d open my heart. The main thing on my mind this day is that I do not know what I would do if it were not for the truth and reality of God in my life.

You see, I wasn’t always concerned with the things of God. I was raised in a traditional church environment where I showed up on Sundays, but it was a duty and meant nothing on any level beyond obligation. I’ve always believed in the existence of God and the historical explanation that Jesus died on the cross for man’s sins, but I understood that to mean that Christ’s death was for some universal, blanket-type application for all human beings on the planet. I still had so many personal, unanswered questions.

Not until I was 28 years old and going through a heart-breaking broken engagement did I attend church for the first time in years and actually “hear” the gospel message. God had a plan for my life. But sin was keeping me separated from Him. If I would confess my sins and place my trust in Jesus’ sacrificial death on the cross, which erased my sins against God, then God would adopt me as His child and guide me for the rest of my life.

I didn’t understand everything I heard that day in church, but what I did understand is this: I had never considered consulting God about my day-to-day life. I had never known that such a thing was possible. I’d wrestled for the longest time with the question of the purpose of this world and my place in it. What was the point of being here? Where was I going? Was there any such thing as absolute truth?

That day was the beginning of a new life for me. That day I did a 180 and began to follow Jesus Christ.

It’s been 21 years since that day, and I have to say that life as a Christian has certainly been different from what I ever anticipated, but God is truly an “anchor for my soul” and has proven the truth of Christ’s words: “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.” (John 8:12).

God And Suffering

If you’ve been keeping up with this blog, then you are familiar with the four years of prolonged medical problems and resulting sufferings I have experienced. And this leads me back to what I said at the start: Were it not for the faithfulness of God; were it not for the absolute truth of His promises as given to us in the Bible; were it not for the reality that Jesus Christ is who we are all seeking for…who holds the answers to every deepest longing of our hearts, I would not be here right now. I would not have made it this far. I would have given up. Life is too hard and cold, and apart from having a relationship with the living God, there is no meaning in this world. God promises to those who trust in Him that their life will not be in vain. Christ is the one who makes it possible for our sufferings to have eternal purposes. Apart from Him, all suffering is without hope.

I remember when I first came to this realization in July of 1988. That was the day that I turned toward God. I recall thinking, “What if this is just a fad?” I had followed so many philosophies—considered so many religions and viewpoints up to that point. How could I know this was REAL?

About a year later I ended up spending a semester at an international Bible School in Chicago where I met people from at least 30 different countries around the globe. It was as if we all spoke the same “language.” Everyone, although unique in personalities and experiences, shared a common thread of understanding—that Jesus Christ was the way, the truth, and the life of this world. That experience cemented my faith forever.

If you are undergoing prolonged suffering, and if you feel there is no point to your existence in this world, then please consider that God is the only one who can turn your experiences into “gold.” Ask Him to forgive you and to change your heart and lead your life. Read His word, the Bible. Talk to him honestly about your thoughts and feelings. Let go of this world and follow Him instead. “Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will by no means pass away.” (Mathew 24:35).

Following Christ does not mean that you will never suffer, or question, or struggle in this world. But it does mean that He will infuse you with His enduring strength and transform your agonies of this world to eternal rewards. And when your time comes to leave this earth, you will have the assurance that you will live forever, with Him, in the world to come!

“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” (Revelations 21:4).

WHAT IS AUTHENTIC FAITH?

“For I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.’ … inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.”(Matthew 25:35-36, 40).

What is authentic faith? Have you ever wrestled with this question? Throughout the years, as I’ve followed the Lord, I’ve repeatedly prayed to understand more about the illusive depths of what constitutes truly authentic faith.

For me, discovering the mystery of faith is much like peeling an onion—as each layer of faulty perceptions are stripped way, you get closer to the core (God). When I was first saved, walking in faith was about taking on a new way of life filled with spiritual practices that included learning how to pray, to read God’s word, fellowship and serve.

Later, I became more acquainted with the aspect of Christ’s Lordship over my life. Faith then involved an awakening to the battle between the flesh and the spirit, and the aspiration to lead a more obedient life.

In time I encountered some bitter disappointments that caused my passion for Christ to dull. I entered into a spiritual wilderness void of emotion. All the activities I had once enjoyed became chore-like and rote. But in that place, God was teaching me about another facet of faith, as I learned the importance of trusting His word instead of relying upon what I could feel.

Years later, I began to see various inconsistencies in what other Christians believed. This plunged me into a renewed passion for the scriptures and faith became a pursuit of doctrine.

A FACET OF FAITH

But when I reached the season of my prolonged medical problems, a drought of unanswered prayer, empty doctrine, lost hope, and feelings of abandonment caused me to question everything I’d believed up to that point. If the God I had been following would allow this much suffering, then He was not the God I had thought Him to be. And if that were the case, then I was not the Christian I thought myself to be…so who was I? I had lost all sense of spiritual equilibrium. A week’s stay in the hospital during one Christmas season brought this crisis to a head. I found myself pleading again with God: “What is authentic faith?”
I’ll never forget how God met me in that hospital and answered my question in a most astonishing way.

On Christmas Eve, an unexpected visitor showed up at my hospital room. Alana was a woman I had met a few years before at church. We had taught classes together a couple times, but we did not know each other well, nor did we socialize together.

Of all the people I knew well at that time who never visited me in the hospital, Alana, an almost virtual stranger, drove over an hour from her home, delaying a Christmas dinner with her husband, to comfort me--a sick acquaintance. The kindness of her gesture brought me to tears of sheer gratitude—to think that anyone would make such a sacrifice for me.

And I heard God whisper in my heart, “Now that is authentic faith.”

That night, Alana was the body of Christ in action. She will probably never know how that one selfless act impacted my understanding of Jesus forever. And I realized that if it were not for my suffering, I would never have learned what it's like to be on the receiving end of God’s tender love through such a faithful servant.

“If you truly want to experience an authentic faith, go where people are hurting the most and get involved in their lives. You’ll not only see God at work, you’ll also gain his heart and very likely become transformed in the process.” –Gary Thomas in Authentic Faith.

HE CHOSE TO SUFFER

A story was once told to a group of children:

"What if I loved the birds and wanted them to eat out of my hand?"
“They’d be too afraid,” came the reply.
"But what if I talked to them and told them not to be afraid?"
“They wouldn’t understand your words,” said the children.
"Then what if I first became a bird for awhile?"
“Then they would love you.”

The simplicity of this analogy touched my heart, reminding me of what great lengths God went to in order to identify with us. Not only did He communicate His love in words, but He became one of us for awhile, in the Person of Jesus Christ—God in the flesh.

When I get weary of my afflictions, I sometimes become frustrated with God—even resentful. I’ll start to reason within myself that if God is all-powerful and can do anything He pleases, and if He truly loves me, then why does He allow my suffering to continue? It’s so difficult to equate love with pain. It doesn’t make sense within my limited framework of rationality.

One morning during church worship, when I was wrestling particularly hard with this question, the following scripture flashed up on the screen: “When Jesus knew that His hour had come that He should depart from this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end.” (John 13:1). Immediately a thought pressed upon my mind: Consider how Jesus departed from the world. I sensed the Holy Spirit prodding my thoughts, and I became lost in several moments of reflection on exactly how Jesus left the world--through the doorway of suffering.

It is amazing how in His deity, the King of Kings could have chosen to exempt Himself from the troubles of life, but instead entered into the full constraints of the human experience, forgoing His glory for a time to endure both the common and the extreme afflictions of this corrupted world. On our behalf, HE CHOSE TO SUFFER, to take upon Himself the ultimate horror every human must face—death. In this way, He fully identified Himself with us.

I don’t know why God has created a world where suffering must exist—that’s a mystery that only He fully understands right now. We can only speculate by piecing together various fragments of information from His word, and beyond that we must exercise faith.

But God has promised that one day we will understand in full. In the meantime, He gently reminds us to focus on the ultimate proof of His love—the shedding His blood for our lives.

“Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” (John 15:13).