
One evening at sundown, while sitting on my front patio and enjoying the quiet of the neighborhood, a most unusual scene unfolded before my eyes.
Finding God's comfort in the midst of prolonged suffering . . .
My prayer is that this website will offer you empathy, comfort and hope for the battle.

One evening at sundown, while sitting on my front patio and enjoying the quiet of the neighborhood, a most unusual scene unfolded before my eyes.
"Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:13-14).
LOOKING BACK
Sometimes when we suffer, we get hung up in looking back . . . back to a time before the pain began . . . back to a time when life was simpler . . . back to the moment when we made a bad decision and would give anything for the chance to do it over.
Sometimes we tend to dwell on the past, mulling over what we should have done differently in order to avoid our present pain. We think that perhaps if we had obeyed God when He tried to get our attention on a matter, or perhaps if we had sought God more heartily when we were happier, then we wouldn't be suffering now.
But looking backward is a double-edged sword—it has the potential to become either a blessing or a curse, depending on how long we allow our thoughts to linger.
Life, for everyone, is filled with mistakes. But God, in His mercy, grants second chances (and thirds, and fourths, etc.). Mercy calls us to look back just long enough to repent, if we need to, and to LEARN so that we can move forward. But looking back through the lens of regret is a snare of the enemy designed to block our progress.
We can learn more about looking back from a few examples in Scripture:
....Before God sent judgment upon the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, He sent two angles to lead Lot and his wife to safety. The angels warned them not to look back; however, Lot's wife did look back, and she instantly turned into a pillar of salt. (Genesis 19:23-26).
....When God delivered the Hebrew children from Egypt and they encountered a time of testing in the wilderness, their hearts began to look back...to long for the food they had formerly eaten. With this God was displeased. Inevitably the Hebrews were unable to enter the Promised Land because they refused to look forward in faith. (Numbers 11:1-6).
....When the teachers and the Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery to Jesus, hoping He would punish her, instead Jesus forgave her and said, "Go, and leave your life of sin." (John 8:1-11). In other words: MOVE FORWARD NOW.
FOREGET WHAT IS BEHIND
If anyone had reason to look back and regret, it was the Apostle Paul who had persecuted the church of Christ, ordering Christians to their deaths. Later, Paul beseeched God to remove a painful "thorn" from his side, but God refused, reminding Paul that His grace was sufficient for Paul to move forward. What if Paul had taken God's refusal as a sign that he was not forgiven? That he was unuseable? That he wasn't right with God?
Instead Paul embraced God's words in faith and continued to move forward with the work God had called him to. Had Paul done otherwise, he would have missed out on the high calling of writing what would eventually become a major portion of the New Testament.
We will never be able to move forward in our lives until we are first able to move forward in our minds, accepting our trials not as obstacles that hold us back, but as opportunities to discover the grace of God.
"Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death." (2 Corinthians 7:10).

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it" (Luke 9:23-24).
What crosses do you bear daily?
Some people bear crosses that require subtle acts of patience—refraining from snapping back at someone who offends or holding one's temper in an exhaustinly long line at the bank. Others bear crosses that call for simple acts of kindness—running an errand for a spouse who is exhausted, or yielding to another car in heavy traffic.
Every decision to prefer someone else's needs above our own, to relinquish our "rights" and yield to the ways of God, becomes a practical altar of sacrifice to the Lord.
Still there are other crosses that are not as easy to bear, crosses that we don't choose for ourselves, rather they are assigned to our lives and reveal the level of our faith in Christ. Sometimes these crosses are called our "lots in life." They are often characterized by circumstances or conditions we find ourselves powerless to change, despite our greatest efforts or prayers. These crosses are the "thorns in our flesh" that produce chronic pain, be it low grade or overtly disabling. Jesus warned us of these crosses and how they are a mark of the Christian life.

Discovering Faith
I thought I would deviate from my normal postings about Bible passages and lessons learned about the Lord and inject some personal thoughts. This is not easy for me, as I’ve been told I tend to be a “private” person. And I’ve often wrestled with just how personal to get on this blog. But here goes:
Tonight I am feeling whimsical and somewhat nostalgic. So I thought I’d open my heart. The main thing on my mind this day is that I do not know what I would do if it were not for the truth and reality of God in my life.
You see, I wasn’t always concerned with the things of God. I was raised in a traditional church environment where I showed up on Sundays, but it was a duty and meant nothing on any level beyond obligation. I’ve always believed in the existence of God and the historical explanation that Jesus died on the cross for man’s sins, but I understood that to mean that Christ’s death was for some universal, blanket-type application for all human beings on the planet. I still had so many personal, unanswered questions.
Not until I was 28 years old and going through a heart-breaking broken engagement did I attend church for the first time in years and actually “hear” the gospel message. God had a plan for my life. But sin was keeping me separated from Him. If I would confess my sins and place my trust in Jesus’ sacrificial death on the cross, which erased my sins against God, then God would adopt me as His child and guide me for the rest of my life.
I didn’t understand everything I heard that day in church, but what I did understand is this: I had never considered consulting God about my day-to-day life. I had never known that such a thing was possible. I’d wrestled for the longest time with the question of the purpose of this world and my place in it. What was the point of being here? Where was I going? Was there any such thing as absolute truth?
That day was the beginning of a new life for me. That day I did a 180 and began to follow Jesus Christ.
It’s been 21 years since that day, and I have to say that life as a Christian has certainly been different from what I ever anticipated, but God is truly an “anchor for my soul” and has proven the truth of Christ’s words: “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.” (John 8:12).
God And Suffering
If you’ve been keeping up with this blog, then you are familiar with the four years of prolonged medical problems and resulting sufferings I have experienced. And this leads me back to what I said at the start: Were it not for the faithfulness of God; were it not for the absolute truth of His promises as given to us in the Bible; were it not for the reality that Jesus Christ is who we are all seeking for…who holds the answers to every deepest longing of our hearts, I would not be here right now. I would not have made it this far. I would have given up. Life is too hard and cold, and apart from having a relationship with the living God, there is no meaning in this world. God promises to those who trust in Him that their life will not be in vain. Christ is the one who makes it possible for our sufferings to have eternal purposes. Apart from Him, all suffering is without hope.
I remember when I first came to this realization in July of 1988. That was the day that I turned toward God. I recall thinking, “What if this is just a fad?” I had followed so many philosophies—considered so many religions and viewpoints up to that point. How could I know this was REAL?
About a year later I ended up spending a semester at an international Bible School in Chicago where I met people from at least 30 different countries around the globe. It was as if we all spoke the same “language.” Everyone, although unique in personalities and experiences, shared a common thread of understanding—that Jesus Christ was the way, the truth, and the life of this world. That experience cemented my faith forever.
If you are undergoing prolonged suffering, and if you feel there is no point to your existence in this world, then please consider that God is the only one who can turn your experiences into “gold.” Ask Him to forgive you and to change your heart and lead your life. Read His word, the Bible. Talk to him honestly about your thoughts and feelings. Let go of this world and follow Him instead. “Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will by no means pass away.” (Mathew 24:35).
Following Christ does not mean that you will never suffer, or question, or struggle in this world. But it does mean that He will infuse you with His enduring strength and transform your agonies of this world to eternal rewards. And when your time comes to leave this earth, you will have the assurance that you will live forever, with Him, in the world to come!

